This week Shelly-Ann Harris connects with Michael and Lynier Watson for Family & Faith Magazine’s Happy Marriage Summer Series. Michael and Lynier have been married for 16 years and have 3 wonderful children: Michaela (14), Michael Jr. (11) and Matthew Mikhail (6). The two also own and operate ePOH Jamaica Limited, a growing company that provides IT services for small to medium businesses. Michael is also a singer and actor and Lynier is a teacher and actress. The creative lovebirds are also both Ministers of the Gospel.
Shelly-Ann: How did you know that your partner was the one?
Lynier: I had a crush on him from the first time I watched him playing basketball on the court of my alma mater, Edna Manley College (EMC). The Holy Spirit whispered to me at the time that he would be my husband. The only thing is that I wasn’t a mature enough believer at the time to know it was the Holy Spirit and thought it was in my head, especially since I was engaged somewhat to someone else at the time. We became friends and were just inseparable thereafter. I felt he was family and just couldn’t imagine not being with him.
Michael: While playing dominoes on the EMC Campus Dorms, one day I looked up and saw a gorgeous woman open her windows and fix her curtains, after which I saw her beautiful figure silhouetted behind the curtains as she fluffed her pillows and got ready for bed. I was so invigorated by the experience that I decided that I would sit in the same position every night to “play dominoes.” I was determined from that time that I had to do something to get this girl’s attention.
Shelly-Ann: Whenever you speak of Michael, you always have a sparkle and admiration. What do you value most about your husband? And Michael what do you value most about Lynier?
Lynier: It’s hard to give just one answer for this but at the top of the list would be his faithfulness and commitment to God and his family.
Michael: Lynier is like no one else that I know. She loves big and allows nothing to stop her from expressing that.
Shelly-Ann: What’s one of the most challenging issues you have faced as a married couple and how did you overcome it?
Michael & Lynier: We can’t identify one specific event that we could say was the greatest challenge we faced. We have faced many tough challenges including financial struggles, temptations of infidelity, struggles with in-laws – you name it we’ve tasted it. However, our greatest challenge comes not in the tough events because we often deal with those quite well. The toughest times in our marriage is when we turn our eyes on ourselves and look away from Christ and each other. Satan has a field day with our selfishness and floods our minds with thoughts that magnifies the simplest of things. We forget who we are and begin to accept all of satan’s lies about each other. “He doesnt love me, he only cares about himself so I have to take care of me,” is an example of these lies. These thoughts then influence both our behaviors and before you know it, we are constantly arguing.
We have identified that these thoughts are not our own. Whenever we refocus and set our thoughts on God’s word, He gently guides us back into truth. We still struggle from time to time especially when we are to minister. Satan comes at us with everything he has. Through discipleship with more mature believers and dedicating personal time with the Lord and in His Word, we are learning more and more how to defuse the flaming darts. As a result, arguments are way less and far between. We forgive each other for teaming up with the accuser of the brethren and we refocus on walking in the peace, love and joy that God has blessed us with.
Shelly-Ann: Turning to the children now, has parenting challenged or strengthened your marriage? Describe how.
Michael & Lynier: Parenting is one of God’s greatest blessings to humanity. Whether you give birth to a child or not we strongly believe that every Christian couple should raise children. According to Malachi 3, it is one of God’s purposes for marriage. We find parenting to be God’s greatest gift to us. We recognize that everything God gives us is geared at building our character. Like gold, character is tested when it goes through fire. Parenting is a character builder. Sometimes it is overwhelmingly rough but at the end of the day it strengthens who we are. As our characters are built so is our marriage, so yes parenting has certainly strengthened our marriage.
One practical way that this happens is that we have to always keep in mind that we are a team. Every disagreement concerning the children must be discussed on the sidelines and not on the court. The kids must always realize that we are a team. If Daddy says no, then it’s no and if mommy says no its no. This gives the children stability and builds our relationship as a couple. It’s not always easy…especially when inside you strongly disagree. But with the help of the Holy Spirit it can be done and benefits the family greatly.
Shelly-Ann: What are some of the biggest lessons you have learnt about marriage and family over the years?
Lynier: God’s design and order for marriage is perfect. The world, our flesh and satan war against this. We are therefore in continuous warfare and can only win by learning and submitting to God’s way. Secondly, my spouse is not my enemy. We are on the same team. Keeping this at the forefront helps us to see situations from a clearer perspective. It helps us to identify the true enemy. Finally, we must choose to forgive immediately. Forgiveness is a decision not a feeling. No matter what is done we can choose to forgive. That frees the Holy Spirit to guide us through working through the challenge. When we choose to forgive immediately, the pain heals faster (though it still takes time), restoration comes and wisdom to not make the same mistakes is given.
Michael: That my primary relationships are God, my wife (the marriage union), my children, our extended family, church family, close friends, then everyone else. Missing this order can be detrimental to everything.
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